Day Filled with Cheers, Tears and Hopes Fulfilled
(Published in The Providence Journal on May 18, 2004)
PROVINCETOWN, Mass. -- In a backyard of America's gay mecca, Michael John Sullivan was far from Alabama and losing it as he stared into the eyes of the man he was marrying. Tears flowed. His voice broke. But he had to finish the vows, had to kiss Chris McCary in front of the world.
"For richer and for poorer," Sullivan, of Anniston, Ala., repeated in a Southern drawl as a justice of the peace guided the couple toward history. "To love and to cherish."
And, finally, "To be your faithful spouse." Sullivan and McCary kissed. The cameras that would carry their beneath-a-tree wedding to doorsteps throughout the world sounded like crickets on a summer night: click, click, click.
McCary, 43, a divorce lawyer who says he specializes in the tough cases involving severely battered women, and Sullivan, 37, who works at a dance club, had taken an overnight flight from Alabama, landing in Boston early Sunday morning. To avoid heavy traffic, they got up at 2 a.m. yesterday to drive to Provincetown. They became the first couple to leave Town Hall with an application for a license to marry, a document issued legally to same-sex couples for the first time anywhere in the United States.
All told, 154 couples applied here for marriage licenses yesterday. One-third of the applicants were from out of state, according to Town Manager Keith Bergman.
Scores of tourists, local residents and supporters whooped "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" as each couple walked up the steps to Town Hall. When they emerged, often waving their paperwork, the crowd applauded and cheered again.
Some people had appointments; others just showed up. Some made the 45-minute trek to the nearest District Court in Orleans to get a waiver of the three-day waiting period. Many returned so they could marry yesterday.
People had weddings amid sand dunes by the sea, or in quiet ceremonies in private homes. Others gathered in front of a stone monument outside Town Hall and were married without guests, unless you count television cameramen and reporters from Chicago to as far away as Japan.
Good luck if you wanted to see Jon Goode and Cary Raymond, a couple who shuttle between homes in Boston and Provincetown, get married near the monument. The crush of media made it difficult to see what was happening.
John Burke, of Provincetown, left Town Hall, arm in arm with Sheldon Goldstein. Burke's head was covered with a wedding veil decorated with a blue heart surrounded by tiny flowers and saying "Groom." They have decided to be John and Sheldon Goldstein-Burke, once they marry.
"We're making history," Burke said in one of the many interviews he gave the press. "But we're doing something we should have been able to do for years."
Burke waxed optimistic. "People," he said, "will wake up tomorrow and see that there was nothing to fear."
Goldstein said that "eventually, [gay marriage] will spread around the country."
Right now, however, 39 states, including Alabama, have voted to embrace the Defense of Marriage Act, which recognizes only heterosexual marriage. These states will not recognize gay marriages as legal.
That's why Sullivan and McCary will be returning soon to a life of uncertainty. "Our marriage license may not be worth much in Alabama today," Sullivan acknowledged, "but it will someday."
Depending on what happens, McCary said, the couple probably will leave Alabama, if necessary, to relocate in a more tolerant state.
Nancy Goldstein, a 42-year-old grant writer from Brooklyn, N.Y., sounded ready for a fight if New York challenges her marriage. She cited New York state Attorney General Eliot Spitzer's opinion that disputes Massachusetts Governor Romney's view that a 1913 law makes same-sex marriage performed in Massachusetts null and void in other states. And if New York Gov. George Pataki wants a fight, she said she is ready. Romney, she said, "is on the wrong side of the law."
"We have declared ourselves as New York state residents and intend on residing in New York," Goldstein said of herself and Joan Hilty, an editor.
Jessie White and Maria Hegarty, who filed their license application just before Town Hall closed yesterday at 5 p.m., are also ready to go to court to get recognition of their marriage.
"I would be prepared to file a suit, if it seemed appropriate," White, who is from Santa Fe, N.M., said.
They had attended a heterosexual couple's wedding in Lakeville, Conn., this past weekend. When those newlyweds heard that a request for a court waiver would cost nearly $200, they gave White and Hegarty the money.
Along Commercial Street on Sunday, where men walked with arms snug around each other and women held hands, everyone from bakers to jewelry salespeople were preparing for the onslaught of visitors.
Inside the Portuguese Bakery, Tibor Bago was baking history. He squeezed Swiss butter cream swirls along the side of a wedding cake. He had done this hundreds of times before.
He then reached for two plastic figurines. And for the first time in 20 years of turning dough into delight, Bago topped off a cake with two female figures. Both brides held green flower bouquets.
"For me, this is the first time," Bago says. "I really like the color -- the light pink on the dresses."
The two women were to pick up the cake yesterday morning. Bago carried it out from behind the kitchen door and placed it in a display case next to the baklava, not far from the guy making fried dough.
Over at Tumbleweed designs, titanium rings and wedding bands were on sale. Owner Joanne Piccione said she went with titanium when she and her partner, Cynthia Cook, had a commitment ceremony years ago. "It represented something indestructible," Piccione said.
Piccione said it is important for older same-sex couples, in particular, to have marriage as an option. Without marriage, the right of one partner to visit the other in a hospital can vanish. Without marriage, estates can slip through the fingers of a loved one. Many decisions cannot be made on behalf of one partner because they are afforded no legal standing.
"It's necessary to protect your rights," Piccione said.
Mike Grant's and Dan Quirk's arms were wrapped around each other as they strolled down Commercial Street. It was easy to assume they would soon be newlyweds. But they weren't. "I'm not in a relationship. We were walking along the street, holding each other because we like each other," said Quirk, of Provincetown.
Quirk said that of the same-sex couples he knows to be marrying, most or all have been in long-term relationships. "These are people who have been together for 25 years," he said.
As yesterday drew closer, the signs of a new day were everywhere.
A "Congrats Newlyweds" banner hung from the Crowne Point Inn. There were "I do" T-shirts for sale in shops. And as night shrouded Provincetown, someone set up a projection against the front of the Universalist Meeting House church.
The edifice glowed in red hearts.
